May 29, 2009
My goal was to travel with only one bag but much to my chagrin I arrived here in England with two big heavy bags which even two people could barely carry. Since I expect to be here for three months, I have that much time to streamline down. In the interests of travelling light I’m going to keep a weekly journal and post on the blog; I no longer want to carry heavy books and papers around, so this is a way to archive my experience and also keep in touch with friends as I transform into a global traveler.
One of the qualities a global traveler has to have is a trust that whatever we need will be provided, so we don’t have to take everything with us. When I feel into this it feels like a great relief, although I still have an edge of fear: Really? Does that mean I no longer have to worry about having enough money? I hear a caution that we must be careful not to take more than we need nor build debt. This is radical trust in the limitless abundance of the Universe, in the flow, and in my own worthiness. I know it’s me who limits what I can have by my fear-based thoughts and beliefs in imperfection. To travel light means to travel in love, trust and openness.
Along with this goes an attitude of non attachment or non clinging. As I look up I see three beautiful scarves hanging from the wardrobe door, I carried them all the way from Golden Bay New Zealand, to Virginia, USA, and now to Yorkshire, England, many thousand miles. I rarely wear them but I like them, they connect me with Nelson and Golden Bay, my spiritual home, two of them were gifts, and they fit a certain image of myself I’m obviously attached to. But since I don’t wear them is that image really an accurate reflection of who I am? Are the inner and outer aligned? Am I ready to leave them behind?
If it’s so hard to let go of things how much harder is it to let go of people. I’ve just left people I love in Virginia and I feel I’ve been torn out of an organism I was embedded in, where I felt comfortable and at home in the end. I remember a poem by the poet, David Whyte in which he talks about how, just when you’ve hung the last picture in your home and got everything perfect, it’s time to leave. That’s hard! Are we not allowed to be too comfortable on the quest? I like a bit of comfort. It’s true I did resist Williamsburg, Virginia in all sorts of ways, but in the last weeks I was there we had such a delicious spring, so lush, with such bright sunshine and such abundant rain and so much colour and so many birds, it was difficult to tear myself away. Not to mention I didn’t want to leave my little family of Woods, Cheyenne the hound, Sam the moustachiod parakeet, and Edith, Woods’ sweet and generous Mother, as well as the friends I had made and love and want in my life. Yes, leaving is hard. As Beth said, we will always be connected; and as Woods said, there’s always email. But it’s not the same is it? As soon as we’re apart from people we start to idealize them, we lose that edge of learning which a real and unpredictable person always brings. We lose the energetic connection too, not entirely for sure, but nothing beats being in the presence of a person you love.
When there’s a physical journey it’s all more obvious but what I am writing about is not just happening to me. We’re all in a process of lightening up so we can move forward to something new, it’s part of our collective evolution, and it doesn’t always feels good. My challenge this week arriving in Yorkshire and settling into yet another cottage on my own, has been to find inside myself all that love and lushness I appear to have left on the other side of the Atlantic; to gather in all my energies and BE HERE NOW. On my fifth day I feel more peaceful. Two other writers have helped me to get centred and grounded. The first is Karen Bishop, who has a website called www.emergingearthangels.com I recommend a visit. Her regular writings which she calls, WINGS, explore what is happening on Planet Earth from the point of view of the Ascension process, and I found what she’s said about the last six months very reassuring. For example,
While almost fully removed from our old realities in so many ways, feeling homeless is perhaps now our only option, even if we may not know why. Perhaps wandering around with no clear sense of “home” quite yet, we might not know where we belong, or even what we will be doing next…even though at some level we know very well that something very new is on the very near horizon.
Right now, I don’t have a home in the sense we commonly know it, four walls and roof, a door key, a space labeled MINE. I’m here in England which is my birthplace, I’m a permanent resident of New Zealand, and I have heart ties in Virginia. Yet none of these is actually home right now. From the point of view of mainstream society I am viewed with suspicion, some kind of feckless drop out or ne’er do well, or at best a hopeless idealist. But Karen Bishop reminded me of the bigger picture and she made me feel quite normal. Go check out her archives, it’s a great read!
The other author who’s helped me this week is Caroline Myss. I’ve been listening to her cd, Spiritual Madness, after finishing my latest e-book on the Soul Journey. If Karen Bishop’s message is like sinking into a warm bath, Caroline Myss is more like an invigorating wake-up shower. For her, having a relationship with God is a serious business requiring complete self honesty. A cold shower is helpful sometimes especially when you’re feeling like a wimp, as I was for a day or two. Hey, come on, remember why you’re here, remember who you are, remember the journey! You’ve got tools, use them, whatever you do don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself! Ok Caroline, I’d just been writing about the crazy-making nature of the soul journey, the need to be present, to be the eyes of the universe, but whenever I finish a piece of writing I always feel a bit lost, at least for a little while. It comes with the territory. Caroline reminded me that on the spiritual journey loneliness is normal; essential even. And she also reminded me how easy it is to deceive ourselves and how we need to stay aware and alert to our motivation in everything we do; its’ so easy to deceive ourselves and that’s why times of change can be so confusing because its sometimes quite difficult to discern what is true and what is delusion: are we on the spiritual path because we think it’s leading to an easy life, lolling in a hammock in heaven? Think again! The spiritual path is here to temper us, to show us where we’re unfinished, to knock off our sharp edges and render us fluent. It’s not always comfortable and it’s not always cosy, and it’s not always in the form we want, but it is the most amazing journey on Earth and once we’re on there’s no getting off. So I’m reminding myself to relax and enjoy the ride.
I’m looking forward to sorting out my stuff so I can get down to one bag I can easily carry. Woods’ mother Edith gave me some wonderful advice as I was leaving Williamsburg, “Keep your heart open so you can receive all the love that’s there for you, and keep your eyes open so you can see how beautiful the world is.” Yes, Edith, thank you! To that I would add, “if you’re bag’s too full you can’t receive anything new” If it’s time to strip down to the essential self, what do we really need? Who are we really? What and who are we ready to let go of and what do we want to hold onto?
The latest edition of New Moon Magic, A Soulful Life, is available for the give-away price of $11 Us, or $11 NZ, or £10, if you’re in England. If you’d like a copy write to me at rose@awholenewworld.net
Namaste
Rose
